Hi , my name is Amina and yes I'm a girl i took a picture .. I'm in the 8th grade . I'm just here to tell you guys what love feels like .
I can tell you that love can save you and it can lead to heartbreak , just that happened to me .
I met this guy in my school and well we ended up talking , his name was Jake and we became really good friends.
That time I was struggling through everything in my life .. I lost my best friend and I fell into depression ... She comited suicide , that night I got a call , everything around me shattered , I felt broken , I dropped my phone on the ground and fell to my knees crying , I lost my best friend since kindergarten .. I was alone and my life changed that day .
I started starving myself so much that I developed a eating disorder , I started cutting myself all over my body first on my wrists then my legs . I lost myself so much ...
When I came to school the next day everybody came and gave me a hug , but I didn't cry ... My other friends told me that she would want me to be strong , but I didn't listen to them ....
As I went my first period of class the teacher came and ran over to me and hugged me ... I tried not cry , I kept my tears inside .
I couldn't handle it because every time I passed to her locker my heart would drop . she was the person that I could talk to .
She was gone and I felt alone .
I became real sick the next few months , that my parents started getting really worried . I would throw up everything I ate or tried to and then I would throw up blood .
I couldn't sleep right anymore , I would have nightmares every time .
I came back to school the next day and there was a new guy that everybody talked about and as I came in my science class early , I saw this guy with brown hair , brown eyes . wearing a black shirt with blue jeans ... He was really cute .
I went over to sit where my seat was and he caught my eyes and we locked eyes and he smiled at me , but I tried to smile , but I didn't , I just put my head down .
His name was Jake and he was transfered to this school . everybody became friends with him except me ,
I couldn't have a friend because I didn't want lose another one .
It was lunchtime and my usual self I would skip lunch and just walk around the school , but not trying to get caught by the teacher .
As I was walking I noticed Jake trying to open his locker , but couldn't ... I don't know what I was doing , but I came to him and asked him if he needed help .
He nodded his head and looked at me with those brown eyes , god they killed me .
We ended up talking and for the first time I'm months I tried to smile .
Me and him became best friends , I told him everything what happened and he listened and told me everything was going to be okay .
We would , laugh , cry , then laugh again . we were really close and everybody would hear about it .
My other friends were happy for me .
My eating disorder , well I was struggling through it , It was march and I was getting ready for gym , but I didn't feel so good , but I couldn't fail that class .
We had to run a mile and the guys from 8th came they had to run to , I was in 8th grade too ,
Everybody got ready to run and then the coach blew the whistle , I started running and I was at the 4th lap , then I felt something coming up my throat and my legs felt shaky , my hands started shaking and I stopped and my friend Lisette asked why did I stop , but I held on my stomach and then she asked me what was wrong , then I threw up in the ground and I was throwing up blood I fell on the ground and she started screaming for the gym teacher to come everybody stopped I looked at my hands , they were scraped red I was bleeding and I started sobbing and then I heard a scream , it was jake's he started running over to me and asked Lisette what happened , she didn't know , then everybody crowed around me , Jake got on the ground and pulled me into his arms , whispering in my ear everything was going to be okay .
I blacked out .
I stayed home the next day feeling horrible , then there was a knock on my door and my mom opens the door I found
Jake , and he smiled and gave me a hug .
I knew at that time I had a crush on him , but he would never fall for me , there were pretty gorgeous girls at my school , he would choose one of them.
I heard on of his friends tell me he liked me , but it was hard to believe that .
It was lunchtime and of course I skipped , then I saw jake walking over to me ,
He told me everything how he liked me from the beginning , and he asked me out
He took me on a date after school to the park and we acted like little kids , I felt like a kid . I smiled and
He kissed me , it was my first kiss and it was special and amazing .
We were the not cutest couple at school we beat this girl named Shelby and her boyfriend josh .
Some girls hated me , but I didn't care I had him with me and I felt alive .
He made me feel beautiful even if I had scars on my body , he made me eat and I became healthier , I felt happy , people would say to me that I was really lucky , Evey time I passed in the halls .
He would hold my hand and make me smile , I had this strange feeling in my heart that I've never felt , my mom told me it was love
I fell in love with him so hard that he became my savior .
He told me he loved me on march 10 , 2014 and I told him I loved him too .
On march 31 , 2014 , we weren't together anymore and I broke up with him , you may think I'm stupid , but I was scared and there was this girl in my school she would steal everybody's boyfriend and she told me that I was ugly , fat , and that Jake doesn't love me and that she would get him for herself
I didn't talk to him in class and I ignored him every time he tried to talk to me .
I told him to meet me outside of the school , after school in the back . I told him we have to break up and he looked at me and asked why ? I felt tears ready to spill out of my eyes and I didn't give him a reason
I ran away .leaving him standing there .
We were over , our love was gone .
I had a broken heart and I cried and cried , myself to sleep . my friends would tell me that he misses me and that I broke his heart .
It was April and we haven't been talking and I heard from someone that he's happy and he moved on , it shattered my heart and my friend Lisette told me he hasn't moved on , but she was just trying to make me feel better .
I was backing to cutting and starving myself .
I'm just trying to tell you guys love is amazing , but also hurting . I miss him every day and it hurts to see him in the halls looking at me .
I think about him every night . I don't know what to do guys , so I'm asking you guy why should I do , I can't move one because my heart is still with him , tell me what to do .